Difficulties

This is incredibly difficult for me. Things right now are really tearing me apart. I don't know what to do. I hate this. I hate dealing with everything and having to be the sane one and the one that takes care of everyone else and their problems. I wish I could just fall apart like I so desperately need to. I wish someone else could take care of me for a change. I'm so exhausted. I'm burnt out and I'm so tired of taking care of everything for everyone. I'm tired of always being there for everyone, and then having no one to turn to when I need them, and constantly feeling like a burden when I need something. I'm so sick and tired of always being everyone's punching bag. I don't know what to do. I can't handle this anymore. I need someone to be there for me without making me feel like shit for needing something. I'm so tired of always being understanding when no one will listen to me or help me when I need them. I'm tired of "it's fine. I know you're busy" and "no worries. I know you have a lot going on right now. It's ok you aren't available" and "I understand. you don't have to listen or anything. I'll be fine." Except, I'm not fine. I'm falling apart. I'm crumbling inside. I need someone to be there for me. I need someone to listen. I need someone to help me. I'm being crushed under the weight of everything I'm dealing with and I'm gonna fall apart and not be able to pull myself back together. I cannot handle this by myself. I really need help.

I know it isn't fair for me to ask you to be there for me. I know you have a lot going on yourself, and it's not easy for you to deal with. I know you are struggling with your own problems and anxieties and it's not easy to handle. I know this...I just really need you. I don't have anyone else to turn to. I need you to be there for me and listen and support me. I wish I didn't have to burden you with this, but I'm out of options. I can't do this alone anymore. I'm falling apart. I seriously feel like I'm gonna have a mental breakdown.